Looking back – Change, Chance and Choice
Mentor Speak
This series of short write ups provide pearls of wisdom from Global Leaders and Mentors who are associated with us. They bring in a practitioner’s perspective and serves as an effective combination of advice that has authenticity, experience and most importantly – relevance.
Every 365 days barring leap years, we celebrate our past glory and welcome the future with celebrations, hope, and happiness. However, this year is ending on a profound yet distinctive note. Somewhat historic, 2020 is a year that will remain etched in our minds for many centuries and lifetimes. Everyone knows how this year was phenomenological, full of mixed bags of sufferings, destructions, apprehensions, and anxieties. We all breathed an air filled with despair and heard stories of gory details of the dead. Someone said that there is no point in the rat race of ever running actions, with never reaching destinations. We went through significant changes both inside and outside. I loved how my son used the phrase ‘2020 BC’, where BC means "Before Corona." If there is any way, we can find some literal sense of those times; if 2020 were indeed a year Before Christ, current times exemplify and symbolize our broken and polarized hearts and minds. Of righteousness and morality. Of rights and wrongs. Of Getting versus Giving. The world threw at us a tremendous change, gave us chances to ponder, and induced us to choose. While marching ahead into the new year with a sense of hope, I thought it would be great to deliberate on the dimensions of each of these elements at our workplace, our work life, and personal worship.
Have We Changed?
I have got varying answers to this short question. Some say that they have a renewed sense and outlook on life, and a few felt a severe storm. But everyone knows one thing – 'this too shall pass.' Change has cast the most dreaded and fierce shadow upon everyone. While people felt helpless with all their capabilities, we humans have survived weeks and months with our inherent 'cope-ability.' We tested our resilience, forbearance, and fortitude.
Spending over nine months in a jail-like routine at my home in Mumbai, I was hellbent on understanding this phenomenon of Change. That led to my search for what doesn't change, and I asked, "can I find that around me?" Enormous studies, contemplation, and research lead me to a definitive answer – Awareness that is thoughtless, a witness, and that is 'I AM.' This AM-ness was so near, but it took over half a century for me to discover, maybe, uncover. I will share how the never-changing Constant in each one of us will combat external Change and enable us to make changes around us. That was remarkable freedom. Great work happens when we are free.
I found that the movie-like playback of memories of my childhood or the dream-like future ambitions and aspirations are mental models in this newfound freedom. There was just One witness, unchanging - my Awareness. It was so moving to find that Big 'I' that is never aging, never-moving, ever remaining. It is standing tall and just watching. My thoughts, moments, and memories were just bubbles appearing and bursting in thin air. Wow! Why can't everyone use this wonderful 'I AM' ness in their daily lives? As an experiment, I asked a senior manager, who was seeking my guidance on a problem. I told him, devote 15 minutes every day to close his eyes and watch. Don't hold anything. Just watch. He came back after a week saying- "there is this hazy feeling of "I" am observing everything." I smiled and said, go back and work and keep an eye on this "I." He came back beaming and glittering and said – all work just happened. I did everything with love, yet a sense of detachment prevailed because you had told me I have to keep an eye on this "I."
Getting hold of this constant is indeed very liberating. Initially, it will be intellectual, and as one progresses with practice in career and life, this will become experiential. As managers, remember, with this constant "I Am-ness," changes will leave a wreckage of choices. That means opportunities and temptations. With this "I AM" attitude, we will be enveloped with calmness and will have the ability to pick up the ones we want. These opportunities are nothing but chances. A fantastic cycle of Change, Chance, Choice, and Change again. But before we get deeper into this whirlpool, let's understand how Choice works in our minds and actions.
How do we exercise Choice?
The gang leader of Choice is 'intent,' and many times, we fall prey to 'inducements' and exercise impetuous choices. On average, a human being makes about five dozen choices every day, but most of them are mundane. The critical question is, what are essential decisions in our lives that we need to choose? Those big things of what we study, where we work, and how much we should save are very different choices than which jam will I put on my toast. Most managers have very hazy ideas about life goals. They typically carry milestone goals, and some of those milestones are fuzzy. Example – "I want to be super rich in life." If that is the purpose of life, choose rightfully on things centered around money and money alone.
Do not crib about your pay raise because you had enough disposable funds and time and never looked at investing in the phenomenal stock market. You only spent your time researching cars and villas. You had enough choices on your "time spent," Choice of "chances," and Choice of "actions." You probably never exercised any of those choices. You will never be super rich as you aren’t working on your goals! The secret behind choosing is to re-affirm life's Intent. It is your life. If you love mathematics, make all choices that allow you to work on mathematics. If you change course, then find a new intent that will allow you the opportunity to choose. I have seen many people who do not have a well-groomed idea of their purpose. They choose randomly and land upon the unexpected opportunities that the world offers. They become the victim of chances. They get impacted when catastrophic Change happens. When millions of people walked back home, thousands of miles during this pandemic, they just had a persistent idea to be with their families and die together if required. They all succeeded except a few who had a tragic death on the way. Imagine the strength of that powerful intention. If managers bring that dogmatic zeal in exercising their Choice for their given goal, they will become winners in life, even if they don't hit the goalpost.
What is Chance, then?
Chance is a byproduct that we stare at after exercising our Choice. If our intentions are unclear, we will always feel that we have missed the opportunity. No one ever forgets a chance. Unfulfillment creates the idea of possibility, and typically, that is a picture in the rear-view mirror of life. No one misses the opportunity to eat, even if there is no food. One will find a way to find food. While that hunger is natural, mental desire or Intent or Will creates chances. I know of a friend who completed his MBA in his fifties. It was his long-cherished dream to achieve that. He never gave up. He must have lost his chances in the entrance exam three decades ago. But that 'Chance' examination was just a word. For him, he had his choices, and he made them.
Every sunrise comes with a bunch of opportunities. If the intentions are clear and precise, one marches forward. There may be some obstacles, but typically, one moves ahead. Never blame "Chances" because you never "Chose."
Coming back to that whirlpool of Change, Chance and Choice. The world will appear with all her changes, they are uncontrollable, and at times, they might become catastrophic and devastating. As long as we keep our one-pointedness on our Intent, we can pursue those. Nothing can stop us. The external Change where we cannot do most things can be the BIG Daddy of the Universe telling us to shut up. Just shut up then. Go back, close your eyes, and open those shut doors and say hello to yourself. The ever-loving, never changing, "I AM." Religiously devote those 15 minutes to your appointment with yourself, with your eyes closed. As a witness, have a joy ride with all those waves of thoughts in the ocean of your mind. When you open your eyes, go and choose the one that child born of your serious Intent. You will be surprised to see a basket full of juicy 'chance' apples. Bite them and be happy. That's what matters.
